She: Fat and Crazy.


Most of the females I know are on some sort of contraceptive medication. The pill, the mini-pill, the ones you stick inside you every month, the one you inject in the arm… and the list goes on. We have to take the responsibility to get this shit done. We are the official protectors of our own uterus. This is a worthwhile job, but as some jobs are, its boring and agitating.

Most commonly used of all of these is the pill. A friend of mine has just informed me that from now on she has SWORN OFF the pill. Forever. Its a strike! Mayhem will ensue. Cars alight. Milk will spill. Condoms are where she is at and that is, as they say, that.

And you know why? The pill makes her fat and crazy.


Now I believe in protected sex at all times for yours and everyone’s safety, but what I wanna say here is: the pill sucks. Serrrrrks. 

You gain weight, you get pimples, you have to maintain a very annoying pill-popping schedule and you get moods that you didn’t know you could have. Moments when you legitimately know how ridiculous you are being, but are entirely unable to control the strong swing of emotion. Its madness!


I call for magical spell that doesn’t require me to eat a liter of ice-cream each month while crying over yet another insurance ad.

Double wrap and goodnight.

Photo cred, here.




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