10 Life Lessons with Tamika Collins

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You know what is worth fighting for? That thing that lights your fire. Sometimes the ignition is something that comes from complete and utter joy or unimaginable pain. Either way girl, you gotta use it til it breaks. Whether we like to believe it or not we are all humans running around this planet like ants trying to build our own personal Ant Mountain of accomplishments, pancakes, and discarded boyfriends. We are fighting the same fight and sometimes the biggest challenge is believing in ourselves. Ok, I shall give you your moment to groan-eye-roll.

Damn it, believe in you!

This series is all about raising up those women in our communities that are going out and making a difference. They are active, they are lit and they aren’t afraid of their humanity. 10 Life Lessons is about looking inside ourselves to find that inner MOJO, freak. Let’s learn from each other, acknowledge our differences and appreciate the realness that makes us so, so fly.

 

Introducing

TAMIKA COLLINS

 

Tamika Collins is proud Aboriginal woman who isn’t afraid to say what she means. She’s a woman that puts her heart on her sleeve and laser beams it at the world through her magical, lasering eyes. Tamika isn’t afraid of her humanity and for that we can breathe a sigh of relief and take note.

A proud Mununjali woman, Tamika is currently living on Boon Wurrung country. She hasn’t always been as outspoken as she is now. Because of the racism she suffered when she was growing up, it took her a long time to find her voice. We are so glad she has. Tamika is currently working in Melbourne, Australia as the education support officer at the Koorie Heritage Trust. This incredible trust works to educate, promote and encourage involvement for all Aboriginal and Non-Aboriginal people in Australia to join hands in the recognition and appreciation of cultural diversity, reconciliation and the Koorie culture as a whole.

For Tamika, working in an Indigenous organization means so much. She has worked so hard to get to where she is and she isn’t stopping anytime soon. When the world gets her down she has her black-power-playlist on Spotify that keeps her sane, warm and tingly. The playlist features plenty of powerful black women that inspire her to go out and karate chop bullsh*t on a daily basis. Yeah, girl. If you can’t find her working as an Indigenous advisor on various projects throughout Australia she’s probably hanging with her dog, making some jewellery.  T.C is an inspirational, spine-tingling, bad-ass woman that you will all wanna know, for real.

 

Fun Facts about our gal

Fave food: hash browns

Currently Listening: A Tribe Called Quest (newest album)

Currently Watching: What Happened, Miss Simone?

 

10 LIFE LESSONS



I would firstly like to acknowledge the traditional custodians of the lands on which this was written. The Wurundjeri and Boon Wurrung people. I pay my respects to their elders. Past, present and future. These lands were stolen and sovereignty has never been ceded.

 

1. ALWAYS WAS ALWAYS WILL BE ABORIGINAL LAND. Remember this. Do not ever forget it. Respect the land you walk on because Aboriginal people died on that land. We fought with spears and they fought with guns. Over 40,000 Aboriginal men, women and children were massacred during the frontier wars (1788-1934). Before colonization, this land kept us alive for thousands of years. We not only survived, we thrived. While Australia was being colonized, Aboriginal people were shot, hung, decimated by a deliberate introduction of disease and we were even rounded up and hunted for sport. Like animals. Although they tried to breed us out, we still survive today. In fact, we’re everywhere. My first lesson is for you to acknowledge the past. Go on your own self-guided journey to learn more about Aboriginal culture and history. Find out who’s Mob (tribe) is local to your area. You will be surprised with what you find, all you have to do is start looking.

 

2. It’s okay to not be okay. It took me a long time to come to terms with that statement. I go through phases of anxiety and depression. Sometimes I just need to stay in bed all day, eat my weight in Smiths cheese and onion chips (the best flavor by a mile) and cry. This is how I deal with things. This is how I deal with the race related weight that sits on my shoulders every single day. Weight from years of racial abuse, constant battles with white friends who think that reverse racism is actually a thing and the weight of being surrounded by a majority of people who will never understand how I feel. I have learnt that I need space. I need to be alone. We deal with things in our own unique way, and that’s okay. We are only human. Take the time you need to allow yourself to heal. 


 

3. Respect your fellow humans. The constant body shaming, slut shaming and general bringing down of other people needs to stop. Think about how your words and/or actions might affect another person.

 

4. Get creative. This can be anything that interests you. Painting, writing, photography. ANYTHING!  Or maybe you want to learn a new craft? When I was working part time, I really needed something to put my energy and spare time into. I looked online for ideas and mixed them with my interests. I started making jewellery and then moved onto making my own natural lip balms and lotions. It was easy, fun and stimulating!! And with places like Etsy, you have the opportunity to sell your unique product and make a few extra bucks too! (Hell yeah!) 


 

5. Be the best secret keeper ever. I know this sounds juvenile, and I don’t mean you shouldn’t tell your friend if their partner is cheating on them. I just think trust is really important. People have always opened up to me, even if I don’t know them that well. I don’t really know why, maybe I’ve got a friendly face, but it means a lot. Trust is usually one of the first things we think is essential to any friendship/relationship. And it can be lost so easily. So listen to what others have to say, be non-judgmental and smile knowing that their secret is safe with you.

 

6. Self care. This is so important and so necessary. It’s defined as ‘treating yourself with care to ensure that you can cope with the events in your life’. It gives you time to yourself. Time to breathe.

 

7. Step out of your comfort zone. This doesn’t mean putting yourself in an uncomfortable position and hating yourself for it. (Because LOL, I’ve been there) Take baby steps. Try something you’re not used to. Take some dance lessons, go skydiving or pop your Karaoke cherry! Taking the deep breath before the plunge scares people the most, but stepping out of your comfort zone can be a wonderful and healing thing. Just don’t be afraid to laugh at yourself, and make sure you’ve got a friend/s nearby for added support.

 

8. Learn to say “No”.  Pretty self-explanatory. You’ll burn out if you’re always a “Yes” person.

 

9. Educate yourself. Knowledge is power right? A biggie for me is casual racism and unchecked privilege. It doesn’t seem too harmful, but when you’re on the receiving end of it day in and day out, it wears a person down. If you’re unsure, there’s plenty of info out there. All you need to do is Google it.


 

10. Listen to Black voices. If a POC (Person of Colour) tells you they are offended or hurt by something you or someone else said/did, listen to them. It really frustrates me when I see something like blackface, and go into detail as to why its offensive and I get the reaction “Aww nah that’s not offensive” or “You’re looking too deeply into it”. POC’s all over the world still suffer from systemic oppression and racism. You passing off a POC’s comments as invalid because you don’t agree with them IS oppression. If someone says it’s offensive and wrong. IT IS.

 

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Wanna learn more about Tamika and her work at the Koorie Heritage Trust? Follow the link and show them some love! If you’re in Melbourne, head on over to Federation Square! 

Phew, you humans are great. 

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10 Life Lessons with Georgia Smedley

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There are times in our lives that we literally fall in a heap on top of our piles of to-do lists, old bananas and well intended water color experiments. Times when we realize that the rat race just ain’t all that it’s cracked up to be. Too many rats, and racing isn’t easy when full of eggs, bacon and miscellaneous. It’s in these moments of despair that we look to our shiny, badass fellows for what experts describe as a good old pow-wow. A pep talk. A pip up, mate.

Welcome to the second edition of 10 LIFE LESSONS. If you missed the first edition featuring Irene Facheris then get down on it and just live your life LOCA, my friend. I am literally bursting out of my Yoda PJ pants to announce the next wonderful fireball of a woman who will be heading up Number Two of the series and busting our guts with truths that might very well get us to the end-game.

Curious bystander: What is the end-game, Sophie?

Sophie: Loving ourselves! (duh, CB)

 

Introducing

GEORGIA SMEDLEY

 

Georgia is the kind of girl that people meet and experience an immediate connection with. Her work offers no difference. Coming from Melbourne, Georgia works as a photographer doing projects that push for change and growth in humanity. Her pictures are thought provoking, beautiful and all together majestic. Having been featured in Frankie, Archer and the Guardian, GS is a wild child that can not and will not separate her heart and soul from her work. Nor should she.

Georgia has the ability to capture her subjects in a way that each seems to be revealing a piece of their soul that is ever so intimate, and ever so delicate. Her contributions to such projects as Herself.com are a triumph in her efforts to fight for women and their right to security, solidarity and power over their bodies. Hell yes! Georgia works with the founder of Herself to depict what they describe as ‘a gesture to women for women by women; a chance to witness the female form in all its honesty’. Her contribution to the newest and raddest Melbourne mag, Butch Is Not a Dirty Word, was also featured in the Lesbian Herstory Archives, all the way over the pond in New York City. Phew! Damn!

Georgia is the kind of human that fights for what she believes in and inspires others to have the courage to do the same. She knows her way around a Vegemite jar and can most often be found whipping her hair to just about any Michael Jackson song within hearing distance.

Welcome to this wonderful, toast munching, woman’s life lessons.

 

10 LIFE LESSONS

1. When you’re sad and feeling alone, kiss your shoulders and kiss your knees. Trust me, it works.

2. Remember your breath.

3. Lock arms with people who are just as outraged as you.

4. You do not (by any means) have to stick with one passion or one career forever.

5. Nothing is apolitical. If you are neutral in situations of injustice, you have chosen the side of the oppressor.

6. Butter and chocolate should be eaten together.

7. Becoming your mother is not as awful as TV made it out to be.

8. If a dude does something nice for you, you do not owe him anything except a thank you.

9. You have to put yourself in the way of beautiful things.

10. You don’t have to learn something from every experience. I mean, you can, but sometimes things are just crap and that’s okay. Don’t beat yourself up because you’re not feeling enlightened that day.

 

Check out more of Georgia’s work on her website and keep up to date with her latest projects over on her IG. Thanks G.

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Want to know more about life and its lessons?  Hang with me on FB    Instagram n’  Twitter. I got you xx

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10 Life Lessons with Irene Facheris

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Welcome to the very first edition of 10 LIFE LESSONS WITH… A new and ever so titillating project for ShesNoGood! *Bump, grind, jazz hands. In this series I will be featuring women from all over the world who are absolutely thriving and thrashing towards their dreams with guts that can be admired from miles away, sans binoculars. These women make girl-power seem like an understatement and are here to make our day with the lessons they have learned through their experience and existence on this big ol’ planet so far.

Those who will be writing down their wisdom for our fortunate eyes in the coming months are women who are making their mark on society and truly working from the heart. Their journeys to this day are truly inspirational and have the ability to bring a spark back into any intermittent cat-lady’s eyes. We are going to be able to learn a little something from them in order to go out and kick our own butts. Or the butts of things, such as our own dreams. Yeah!

 

Introducing

IRENE FACHERIS

 

Irene is an Italian woman from Milan who puts the O in O-varies. Well known for her work as a Youtuber, Irene’s channel boasts almost 23,000 subscribers tuning into her weekly editions chatting the ways of the world, feminism and cyber-puking over the abominable 50 Shades Saga. Irene rocks our world with her no bullsh*t approach to tackling and absolutely smashing gender stereotypes. As the President and Creator of the project, BOSSY.IT, she provides a positively geared platform through which she can reach Italians of all ages on issues surrounding women’s rights as well as the rights of the LGBTQI community. Her badass attitude is contagious with authors contributing to the femme-power website from all over the world.

The special thing about Irene is not only that she’s a talented pasta eater or even that she has the capacity to sing Flawless flawlessly… its that she fights for what she believes in and absolutely cannot and will not stop for anything.

Irene is a wild heart, a beautiful soul and a force to be reckoned with. Welcome to her 10 Life Lessons.

 

1. Say you’re sorry if you are.
I’m a very proud person and I’m not super happy to say that I’m wrong, even when I’m suuuper wrong. But I’ve learned that a sincere apology can be the best solution.

2. Stop judging people.
And stop giving a damn about other people’s judgements.

3. Women are allies, not enemies.
I know that sometimes other women see me as a threat, I don’t know why. Maybe cause I’m 1.80 cm tall or cause I always speak my mind. My reaction was once “that bitch can say whatever she wants, fuck her”. Now I realize that I NEED other women’s support so I always try to start a conversation trying to understand why they feel the way they feel about me, and it works! I have much more female friends than I used to have back in the days and I love it.

4. Fuck make up.
Years ago I didn’t even take out the trash if I didn’t have at least a bit of mascara on.
That is bullshit. Society tells me that I HAVE TO wear make up but I’ve learned that my face is OK with no make up on and I’m happy with that.

5. Say “I love you” every time you’re in love.

6. Have sex. Just have sex and forget about double standards and slut-shaming.
Enjoy your sex life.

7. TV series are great but read a fucking book once in a while.

8. Try not to hurt people.

9. Wear what makes you feel comfortable and not what fashion tells you to wear. Do you hear me, “beach body ready” commercials?

10. It’s your life, it’s your body.
So make your own choices and follow your own rules.

 

If you want/need more from Irene, find her here.

Instagram   /   Twitter   /   Youtube   /   Facebook   /   Bossy.it

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Thank you and welcome again to the first edition of this series! Keep up to date with the new releases over on the      Facebook/     Twitter  /     Instagram

Wisdom, over and out.

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8 Reasons You Need Iris Apfel In Your Ear

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Iris Apfel is fashion in it’s truest form. She embodies endless (literally) curiosity, creativity, playful delivery and understanding of the entire industry itself. At the age of 95, Iris continues to this day to hit the streets with a style that inspires humans over the entire planet. The most remarkable and undeniable thing about Iris isn’t just that she was an incomprehensible success in her business with interior design, nor is it her work within the fashion industry or the education of up and coming artists. What is so special about Irish is the fact that she unshakably values human qualities and ideologies that are lost on so many of us in this pew-pew modern world.

Iris Apfel is the female ambassador for individuality and the idea that you are what is in your heart and not on your face. Iris Apfel is the perfect Devil/Angel combination to always place on your shoulder to guide you through your days on this planet and that. She has the ability to wheel you in the direction of integrity and true ‘follow your goddamn heart’ spirit. Who gives a flying popsicle, be you and be you good.

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1. She doesn’t encourage the pack mentality. Discourage is the word.

With the world and communication getting faster and faster, we are getting our hands on the latest fashion trends the second they come off the runway- at affordable prices. While it is wonderful that all of us can get a taste of these fashionable pieces/so-hot-right-now items, the whole easy-access thing is kind of killing the creativity. My mother’s teens consisted of her snooping her afternoons away in second hand stores and fabric shops in order to take home and create her own looks and wardrobe. It took time and work and reflection. Dressing oneself is an opportunity for expression of your inner workings. If you dress like her and she dresses like you… what of yourself are you giving exactly? Play with fashion and disregard the local mags. They are cramping your style! Bikini Body Guide can now be filed under the ‘bullsh*t you don’t need’ category. Your style is an expression of who you are- go out and have fun with it and never push yourself into wearing trends just because the cool kids are into it. Feel happy in it, feel comfy in it and you’re good to go.

When you don’t dress like everyone else you don’t have to think like everyone else.

Iris Apfel

 

2. She doesn’t value pretty.

Iris knows that in life you have to work to earn what you have. If you spend you life working solely on your exterior and placing your self worth on that of your own youthful beauty, you shall grow old and be left with nothing. Work for your dreams, follow your heart and read a goddamn book. Looks are not forever. Point your money towards your brain and you will be investing in a future that lacks that bullsh*t pressure of judging yourself based on how high your tits sit.

“I never felt pretty, I don’t feel pretty now; I’m not a pretty person. I don’t like pretty, so I don’t feel badly. And I think it worked out well, because… when you’re somebody like myself, in order to get around and be attractive, you have to develop something, you have to learn something, and have to do something, so you become a bit more interesting. And when you get older, you get by on that. Anyway, I don’t happen to like pretty. Most of the world is not with me, but I don’t care.”

Iris Apfel

 

3. She breaks rules and absolutely never makes them.

I saw this lovely article the other day on 24 Things Women over 30 Should Wear and I had a sweet, little cackle. We wear clothes to represent our inner selves and identities that we choose to expose and disclose to the lucky few who get you gain the experience of our presence on the daily. Style rules or commandments are a big middle finger to what your heart says and feels, and Iris knows not to bow down to those silly deities.

I don’t have any rules, because I’d only be breaking them.

Iris Apfel

 

 

4. At the end of the day- shes knows its always better to be happy. Choose to be happy.

What is with this whole idea of ‘no pain, no gain’ when it comes to beauty? We wear things in order to make ourselves feel more. More ourselves, more fabulous and more more more in touch with our own individuality. You would never wear pink if it were your least favourite color… so why wear something that actually makes you feel shitty?  Iris may never make any rules, but she does follow the school of happy thought. As in: do what makes you so.

If it’s going to stress you out to have a sense of style, don’t do it. The important thing is to be comfortable so you can get on with your life. But I do feel — people miss a lot, if that’s how they approach style. They miss out on this whole creative experience.

You have to look in the mirror and see yourself. If it feels good, then I know it’s for me. I don’t dress to be stared at, I dress for myself.

Iris Apfel

 

5. Shes sees beauty in the simple and real things.

Iris isn’t going to fool you and tell you that the only way that you may ever gain true inspiration as a fashionista/artiste is to douse your pubis with a warm trickle of honey whilst lying in a pile of freshly cut lilacs post passionate coitus. No. She sees her life, her existence and her relationships as the simple joy and source for all happiness and inspiration. What is more real and more beautiful that just being alive. Iris says: nuttin’ fool.

I am inspired by everything around me. It’s not like I stand out on the moors or any of that romantic crap they throw around. I’m just inspired by being alive and breathing and meeting people and talking to people and doing things and absorbing what’s happening. I think if more people did that, there would be better fashion.

Iris Apfel

 

6. She believes in knowing who you are. But knows it can be tough.

Iris knows that under no circumstances can someone tell you who you are. You must spend all day and endless nights tirelessly pursuing that knowledge, and no, there is no 1,2,3 step method. We live in this insane world where we can never ever truly be alone with ourselves to really get down to the nitty gritty. The old dirty and not so dirty truths about ourselves are buried in daily trips to the supermarket and a swirling tornado of text messages and news feeds and cat videos. So, spend the time. Sit with yourself to ponder. The faster you know who you are and what you want, the faster you can actually just go get it. Uhhhhh.

To find out who you are is like putting yourself on a psychiatric couch, but you have nobody to help you. Really it isn’t easy. I was talking with my nephew this morning and he gave me one of the best quotes I’ve heard in years, ‘Personal style is curiosity about oneself.’

Iris Apfel

 

7. She’s always learning and she LOVES it.

Iris knows that life is all about growing and learning with every new experience and person in your life. You can never reach a point in your life when you have learned enough about people, about places and about yourself. We are ever growing beings and it is basically in our DNA to develop, change and constantly evolve. If you actively stop that process, your petals will wilt as will your imagination. Learn (Rock) on!

If you don’t learn constantly, you don’t grow and you will wither. Too many people wither on the vine. Sure, it gets a little harder as you get older, but new experiences and new challenges keep it fresh.

Iris Apfel

 

8. She doesn’t waste time worrying about whether people support or agree with all her decisions.

The big decisions in our life, and in most cases even the smaller ones, should always come down to our very heart and soul. Yes, consider others. Yes, be generous and YES be kind…. but you are always going to be the one to live  with it. Learn to do what thrills you and to do it without looking over your shoulder for approval. Ask yourself- do I want this? Answer yourself. Ask again. And the conversation goes on. You must feel in your heart that you are saying and doing exactly what you feel to be right with you. Right for you. Glove and hand. Pea, pod. Going to bed as a portrayal of your identity rather than who you truly are is not only disappointing, but to the very core it is exhausting. Do your own thing, grow in your own way and be true to your ticker.

I don’t care what people think…I learned a long time ago…I was 19 and had a very traumatic experience….and I learned that I have to go to bed with myself at night and that I have to please myself…and as long as I don’t go out of my way to offend anybody that I love, upset my mother or my husband…I’ll do my own thing. And if the public doesn’t like it, it’s their problem, not mine.

Iris Apfel

 

 

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Iris is an inspiration to all of us, and if you are ever interested in learning more about the miraculously fabulous life she has lived then most definitely check out her documentary.

Who is your secret best friend/style icon/ life and general living icon? Let us all know, and I shall let you know… how cool your furry brows look today. Bye!

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Fight Like a Feminist and Some Femspiration

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I am a feminist. Just as Maya Angelou says, “I’m a feminist. I’ve been a female for a long time now. It’d be stupid not to be on my own side.” I have always been for this cause, however as of late I have had the ultimate and dreadful moment of taking that Red Pill and finding myself surrounded with ways in which women are systematically being oppressed- including myself. It’s terrifying and inescapable and rough on the old heart.

Just like in the Matrix, I have donned a full leather outfit, slapped on my speed-dealing sunnies and fought through conversation after provoked conversation of why this world is so fucked up and unfair and bullshit.

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10 life lessons with Sophie Ellis

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I remember being 18. I even remember being 15. I look back and I think, nope, I would NEVER return! I thought I knew then, but I didn’t. Now at 25, I know. I definitely know what I do know and absolutely not what I don’t.

Having just turned this age, I’m quietly satisfied with the things I know now. I have neatly collected these things into my brain and can even be trusted to act accordingly to this abundant knowledge at times convenient and not so.

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